Overachiever

Goaded by my husband and due to feeling like I needed to be doing something "more," I have recently embarked upon the path that will ultimately end in the completion of my Master's degree.

Today, I posted my second response to the requisite discussion questions.  Next step, take a peek at what my peers have posted and comment, as applicable.  I did that, and this is when I ran into problems tonight.

All of the hard work put into my B.A. in English was formatted in the beautifully complex MLA style.  I spent HOURS stressing over formatting.  I would venture to say I spent more time with annotations and bibliographies than I did actually thinking through the composition that was the assignment du jour.

So, now that I have started my M.A., am I going to be rewarded for all of my hard work and breeze through page notations??  Ummm, nope.  The formatting for this one is APA.

I am VERY uncomfortable with not knowing everything about everything.  It is the OCD in my that requires full understanding of what I am doing before I can get started.  The result?  I have problems getting started.  The fear of mistakes and rejection are often paralyzing.  It is with this background that I went into the discussion boards.  I have to be honest.  When I see someone else's work and compare my own to it, I am not the first to say that the other person wrong.  Just the opposite is true. I often look at the work of others and wonder if that is what I am supposed to be doing.

This time, I wonder if my urge for perfection is simply causing me more work.  The other posts are simple, formatted differently, and MUCH shorter.  The other issue I find is that I am worried that others will look at my work and think I am just trying to earn brownie points.  Again, the opposite is true.   I am simply trying to ease my perfectionist ideals and complete the work on time.

But, I have decided this time to simply do my work and come what may.  This "class" allows me to not have to worry about being called out in class for finishing something better, faster, or first.  I will never see or meet my class members, as they are spread across the United States, and we only "meet" in cyberspace.  I will fulfill my need for perfection, regardless of the length.

Only this time, I really will remember that there is a deadline, and I have to finish...even if it is just shy of perfection.