Goaded by my husband and due to feeling like I needed to be doing something "more," I have recently embarked upon the path that will ultimately end in the completion of my Master's degree.
Today, I posted my second response to the requisite discussion questions. Next step, take a peek at what my peers have posted and comment, as applicable. I did that, and this is when I ran into problems tonight.
All of the hard work put into my B.A. in English was formatted in the beautifully complex MLA style. I spent HOURS stressing over formatting. I would venture to say I spent more time with annotations and bibliographies than I did actually thinking through the composition that was the assignment du jour.
So, now that I have started my M.A., am I going to be rewarded for all of my hard work and breeze through page notations?? Ummm, nope. The formatting for this one is APA.
I am VERY uncomfortable with not knowing everything about everything. It is the OCD in my that requires full understanding of what I am doing before I can get started. The result? I have problems getting started. The fear of mistakes and rejection are often paralyzing. It is with this background that I went into the discussion boards. I have to be honest. When I see someone else's work and compare my own to it, I am not the first to say that the other person wrong. Just the opposite is true. I often look at the work of others and wonder if that is what I am supposed to be doing.
This time, I wonder if my urge for perfection is simply causing me more work. The other posts are simple, formatted differently, and MUCH shorter. The other issue I find is that I am worried that others will look at my work and think I am just trying to earn brownie points. Again, the opposite is true. I am simply trying to ease my perfectionist ideals and complete the work on time.
But, I have decided this time to simply do my work and come what may. This "class" allows me to not have to worry about being called out in class for finishing something better, faster, or first. I will never see or meet my class members, as they are spread across the United States, and we only "meet" in cyberspace. I will fulfill my need for perfection, regardless of the length.
Only this time, I really will remember that there is a deadline, and I have to finish...even if it is just shy of perfection.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Brave Ones
Johnny. Kathy. Rachel.
Shocking? Sometimes.
Outspoken? Often.
Brave? Always.
Bravery is something I find to be a very worthy personality trait. Why? Because I am often not. I am not normally the voice of dissent in my physical life. In my digital life, I am a little braver. I speak up a little more, mainly because I don't have to worry about trying to justify why I feel the way I do. The real brave ones? They are the ones who can be who they are, regardless of the environment. They are the ones who express their opinions without fear or reservation. They are the ones of whom I am eternally envious.
Often, they get labels. Rebel. Controversial. Difficult. Rude.
In reality, the brave ones are misunderstood. While the brave ones happily express their opinions, they are also the very first ones to be supportive of those who try to express theirs as well. The brave ones might not agree, but they always allow others to express themselves and be heard.
My beautiful friend is brave. When I first met her, I will admit that I was a little put off by her brashness. Her audacious behavior was surprising and at times down right shocking. What her behavior wasn't? Apologetic.
And that is one of the reasons why I love and admire her. She's not just brave because she speaks her mind. She has weathered many storms and has come out on top. She loves fiercely, intensely, and loyally. Her beauty, inside and out, make her incomparable.
Through her, I have met more of the brave ones. Two who are brave enough to be who they are in the face of uncertainty and judgment. Two who have been brave enough to stand together for over a quarter century. A brave new Mommy. A woman brave enough to start again. Brave women who share the often comical outcomes of working and child-rearing at the same time. And one who is brave enough to dream her dreams.
Inspiring? Absolutely.
Beautiful? Certainly.
Brave? Always.
Shocking? Sometimes.
Outspoken? Often.
Brave? Always.
Bravery is something I find to be a very worthy personality trait. Why? Because I am often not. I am not normally the voice of dissent in my physical life. In my digital life, I am a little braver. I speak up a little more, mainly because I don't have to worry about trying to justify why I feel the way I do. The real brave ones? They are the ones who can be who they are, regardless of the environment. They are the ones who express their opinions without fear or reservation. They are the ones of whom I am eternally envious.
Often, they get labels. Rebel. Controversial. Difficult. Rude.
In reality, the brave ones are misunderstood. While the brave ones happily express their opinions, they are also the very first ones to be supportive of those who try to express theirs as well. The brave ones might not agree, but they always allow others to express themselves and be heard.
My beautiful friend is brave. When I first met her, I will admit that I was a little put off by her brashness. Her audacious behavior was surprising and at times down right shocking. What her behavior wasn't? Apologetic.
And that is one of the reasons why I love and admire her. She's not just brave because she speaks her mind. She has weathered many storms and has come out on top. She loves fiercely, intensely, and loyally. Her beauty, inside and out, make her incomparable.
Through her, I have met more of the brave ones. Two who are brave enough to be who they are in the face of uncertainty and judgment. Two who have been brave enough to stand together for over a quarter century. A brave new Mommy. A woman brave enough to start again. Brave women who share the often comical outcomes of working and child-rearing at the same time. And one who is brave enough to dream her dreams.
Inspiring? Absolutely.
Beautiful? Certainly.
Brave? Always.
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