Just Me

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?
      Ian - What A Girl Wants

I was not born to stand out.  I am sure someone, somewhere would like to debate that, but I really am okay with it.  I have spent a great deal of my life just wanting to be included.

In barely over five days, I will venture to Lexington to see one of my dearest friends.  I haven't gotten to actually spend time with her in many years, so I am thrilled to get to go.  

While I am there, Rachel has planned a get-together, where I am hoping to get to meet some of my cheerleaders.  I am SO exited.

And SO terrified.

Many of my insecurities are rearing their ugly heads.


What if I don't fit in?  
What if I say something stupid or offensive?  
Will I make a good impression?  


Will they even like me??


These are some of my never-ending questions that are running on a continuous loop through my head.

At just over 30, I have basically figured out who I am.  While I still have my moments, I am fairly comfortable in my own skin.  I can easily be lost in a crowd of three and find myself generally unremarkable.

I'm just me.

But you know what, just me is just fine.

I learned long ago that part of being who I am is not trying to fit into the mold of others' expectations.  Like everyone else, there are a lot of facets of my personality.  This blog post would go on forever if I tried to explain "me" to the world.

So, I am at the point where excitement is overriding the nerves.  I am both giddy with anticipation to see one of my oldest friends (in terms of length of friendship ONLY) and to meet the newest ones.

Just them.  Just me.

I can't wait!

Cheerleaders

It is true that the motivation for my weight loss had to start with me.  What is also true is that the kind words of others served to motivate me beyond what I could do for myself. 

Over the last year, I have learned something amazing.  When you have rough days, days when you think you might not be able to make it, you reach out, and there is always someone with a kind word to pull you through.


For me, there were a lot of someones:


First are those who are physically closest to me: my husband, mother, pop, and son.  They were always there with a "great job" and "good for you" right when I needed one.   When I was exhausted, hungry, and really wanted to throw in the towel, they always seemed to know what to say to keep me pressing on.  I am truly blessed by the family God has given me.  


Next, my wonderful BFF Rachel.  Through thick and thin, high and low, we have traversed many journeys together.  She has sent text messages and coined hashtags that have kept me pressing on.  She has a beautiful heart, and I more grateful to her than I have words to express.   Tu es ma soeur dans mon coeur, toujours. 


There's Tom, whose food posts have allowed me to live vicariously through his creations and has helped to forge a different relationship with food.  Just as importantly, his guidance led me to a church family unlike any other.    There is beauty in his food, greater beauty in his spirit.


And his husband, Michael, who, in the midst of his own unexpected life and career changes, still manages to offer kind words of encouragement.  His insight is incomparable.  More than once, I have pondered what he has said, only to end up in a different place altogether (in the best possible way).  


Not to be alone in this journey, I have read as Emmie fights her own weight loss battle, only to be a great encouragement to me (and others).   I have never subscribed to the idea that it is easy for any one who has done it.  Through her ups or downs (whichever applies at the time), Emmie has shown me the payoff for sticking it out.


Holli goes out of her way to give pep talks.  I also appreciate her take on motherhood, in that she doesn't shy away from the less glamorous aspects.  She meets them head-on with signature wit and grace.  


I am continually in awe of Greg's strength.  I have read as he stands strong with Jason, in the face of those who would have him be someone less than he is.  Again, beauty in that strength and such an example.


Cheers from Kristina are amazing!  She has her own whirlwind life, but she still takes the time to cheer me through mine.   She fights the good fight and stays strong for her family, particularly her daughter.  In that aspect, she reminds me of my mother fighting for me as a young girl. A blessing for sure. 


Bonny is brave, outspoken, and amazing.  We have walked in the same shoes, on the same path and came out stronger on the other side.  I adore her outspoken voice and unwavering faith.   


Over the last year, I have had cheers from Christina, Heather, Ann, Brad, Jacqui,  Beth, Michael , Thom, Tracie, Michelle, Nancy, Tia, Larry, Stacey, Rachel P, Brenna, Dean, Crisi, Julia, Dixie, Ashlee, Belinda, Betsy, Denise, Flo, Lisa, Deah, Dianne, Jeanine, Lydia,  and Scott.


In no way do I think I caught everyone, and I apologize profusely for anyone I missed.  Please know that each of you has lifted me on days when I was at my lowest, even if you didn't realize it at the time.  


I hope, in due time, I can provide that same encouragement when you are in need.   I will be forever grateful for such an amazing host of cheerleaders, peptalkers, bullies (you know you were sometimes),  and friends.


In the end, simplest is best: 


Thank you.