Transition

Tran*si*tion  [tran-zish-uh'n]  noun.  "A movement, development, or evolution from one form, stage, or style to another."

Change is coming.

In reality, change is always coming.   It is the inevitability of change that is, in the end, its constant.  You might not know what is going to be different, but you can count that something is going to be different.

My job is transition, literally.  90 days ago, I left my rotational position to join a previous boss in The Company's Transition department.  It is my job to guide the newest members of The Company through training and their first twelve weeks on the phone.

Fear. Trepidation. Excitement. It all comes out in Transition.   We have those who have worked in a call center, those who haven't.  Those who have worked with customers, those who haven't.  Those who will be successful, those who won't.  And it is my job to usher them in and guide them along.

This past week, my first Transition class graduated.   And my second class started training.

In the midst of this, I had to say goodbye.

My wonderful friend Scott is moving on to another position.  It's a perfect one for him, one that will use the skills he spent years perfecting.  He is smart and brave, even if he sometimes doubts both of those. He also doubts what he can do, but he should know that he will be amazing in the new role.

What's not amazing?  It is a position that is not in our call center.  For the last nine months, I have worked with him nearly every day. Joked with him nearly every day. Lunch, nearly every day.  Same trainings, same time. I have learned about Family, Librarians, and Betty.  And I have gained a forever friend.

Tomorrow, that will change.  Tomorrow, I am on my own.  Tomorrow, I am in transition.

I know my abilities, although I tend to question them.  I like people, although (as previously mentioned) it takes me time to open up.   And I know I can do this, although I'd rather not do it alone.

But, it is time to change.  Rearrange.  Rewrite the agenda.

I am in Transition...

...in more ways than one.

The Introverted Extrovert

I am a people person.

Sort of.

I have never had an issue with speaking to people on the phone, which I suppose is beneficial in my line of work.  I like solving issues and working to relate to them.

The funny thing?  I have serious issues doing this in person.  Every personality test I have taken has labeled me as an Extrovert.  Essentially, I am supposed to be completely comfortable in group settings.  I should be thrilled with the idea of interacting with new people and working a crowd.

Yeah, not so much.

I am rather inept at those situations.  I don't mean to be standoffish, it's just my go-to habit when I want to prevent rattling to the point of being that annoying person.  There doesn't seem to be much middle ground for me.

A couple of weeks ago, I RSVP'd my son for the birthday party of one of his daycare classmates. It was a spur of the moment decision.  It wasn't until the morning of said party that I realized the full impact of this decision.

I was taking my son to a party.

A Pool Party.

With people I had NEVER met.

I still wonder why I did it.  I know I'm not comfortable in these situations and, truth be told, I am a bit of a hermit.  I like to be at home.  I don't have some overwhelming desire to be a mover and a shaker.

So, we went.  Z obviously had fun.  He is part fish, after all.  It also appears that when you stick 15 kids in a pool with a water slide their size, you don't have to worry about social ackwardness.

As for me, it was a little difficult.  I normally have the buffer person.  There is at least one person I know, so I am not completely alone in the new situation with new people.

This time, no buffer.  No one I knew.

Commence freak-out.

Thankfully, there was one of those extroverted extroverts who truly doesn't ever meet a stranger.  She was kind and chatty, making the discussion effortless for me.   Which works for me.  Once one of these highly friendly, knows-no-strangers people breaks the ice, I am welcome to go with it.

So, it appears that I will be attending more birthday parties and accepting invites for outings.  I am hoping that this might help me step out of my comfort zone and meet new people.  Additionally, I hope this helps Z become a little more outgoing and independent.

And that I learn to do the same.

The Journey of a Thousand Miles

"...begins with a single step."


For the last few days, that single step has felt like it is in quicksand and the journey has never felt longer.

I am going to be honest...I feel off the wagon.  No, it's probably more accurate to say that I willingly jumped off the wagon while it was still in motion.

On Friday, a follow up appointment didn't go as planned.  I hadn't expected to hear great things, but I also didn't expect to get news that puts some plans on the back burner of a stove in China.

Based on that, I have fallen into bad habits.  I really didn't care much about what I ate this weekend.  If it appealed to me, I had it.  Wings? Yep.  Dessert? Sure.  It was emotional eating, I know.

And I really didn't care.

On the heels of several days of caution to the wind noshing, a work email caught my attention.  Our Wellness Center will be having a Biggest Loser contest.  While I am feeling like the Biggest Loser right now, that's not quite what they have in mind.

I thought back to this same contest from two years ago.  Two years ago, I was on the team that won this very contest.  I was committed and really, really worked to do so.   There were other people counting on me to succeed.

While I am not necessarily a competitive person by nature, I am very much dedicated to the team spirit.  I don't want to disappoint anyone or be the one factor that could cause us to miss a goal.  I also want to do it for me, to prove that I am not a quitter...I am NOT a loser.

So, while the journey is still feels endless, and my feet still feel leaden and burdened, I am pushing on.

One step at a time.