What A Difference A Year Makes

One year ago, I made a decision. I did it because I was tired.

Tired of being tired.

Tired of feeling like less of a person, even though there was more of me.

Tired of worrying about what my family would do if my weight led to the end of me.

I had learned that I could use the money in my flexible spending account to pay for weight loss programs.  To do so, I had to get my doctor to sign off on the need.  Dr. B was willing to do so, but she wanted me to give her the opportunity to help me first.

When I stepped on that scale a year ago, I was flabbergasted.  I wanted to believe that I couldn't figure out how I had allowed myself to gain that much weight. But deep down, I knew.  I ate what I wanted, in the quantities I wanted, and I got very little in the way of exercise.   The plans I had laid at age 30 to get healthy had gone by the wayside.

I haven't previously talked about what that scale said.  I honestly have been too embarrassed.   While many believe that a picture is worth a thousand words, I still think the words need to be said.

My weight one year ago was:  379.6 pounds.

You might as well call it 380, I sure did.   I also call it unbelievable.  I had major issues coming to terms with that number.  I wanted to tell myself that the scale was wrong, but I knew better.

So, I set out on a journey.  I worked to change my relationship with food, get myself moving, and finally take control of my weight and my life.

A week ago, I asked my mom to retake that picture.  Here's what we got (I'll re-post those side by side below for comparison sake):

I feel like a different person.  I sleep better, move better, am healthier, and know I am making the right changes.  I no longer live to eat.  Food is fuel, nothing more.

Don't get me wrong, I still love food.  Tom's blog is still another type of poetry for me.   Even with that, I no longer feel the need to gorge myself. There will always be more, so there is no need to feel like I have to eat everything I want all at once.

When I stepped on the scale today, my new weight was 296.5 pounds.


For those doing the math, that is a loss of 83.1 pounds!!


A testament to the change I have made is how I feel about that.  I set out to lose 100 pounds.  Previously, I would have been devastated that I did meet the goal and would slide back into my old habits.  

Not this time.

I lost 83.1 pounds!!


That's all that matters. A even mentioned that this morning.  How important it is to focus on what I HAVE done and not what I haven't.

I eat better.

I feel better.

And I run!

If that's the difference this year has made, I can't wait to see what happens during the next one!

Before

After