Ends and Beginnings

I cannot believe how quickly 2010 passed.  Regardless of how I would like for time to stand still, it inevitably continues to speed by with no hint of slowing.  To know where I am going for 2011, I have to look back on where I have been through last year.

Last year, I found myself wanting more.  Not more stuff, I have plenty of that.  I wanted more to my life.  More joy, more belonging, more of that seemingly undefinable feeling that makes a person sigh with contentment.

And so, I set out to find more.

The first thing I wanted more of was life, which required me to actually work on having less.  Less food, less excuses, less resting on my previous failures.  This didn't come at the start of the year.  I didn't really decide to have more of life until I had the first conversation with Dr. B on July 31st.   The goal was set (lose 50 pounds by the end of the year) and the (meal) plan was put in place.

Results?  42 pounds gone.  Was it 50?  Nope.  But that wasn't important. What is  important is that I lost the excuses and the defeat and instead of  "I didn't meet my goal. I give up" (my previous M.O.), my thought was "I ROCK!!  I lost 42 pounds!!"

And now I have more.  More confidence.  More support.  And more room in my jeans (I really need to go shopping).

I also have more joy in playing with my son.  I don't get tired as easily, which means more time to play together.   So much more.

I also went for more belonging in 2010.  I had grown tired of feeling out of place, so we found a new church in 2010.  And the happiness and comfort in this decision carries us into 2011.   Each time we enter the church, someone new greets us warmly.  It is as if we have been part of St. Paul's all our lives.  Just today, I was told how lucky we were to have found a church family like this.  I find it more God's intervention than luck, but I knew what she meant.

And so, I say goodbye to 2010.  But I am not saying goodbye to the lessons learned and the more that I gained.

In 2011, I am holding on to more life, more joy, and more us.  My life is full, beautiful, blessed.  I enter 2011 with hope and excitement.  I am in a position to enjoy more of life by working my weight loss plan.  My goal this year is to lose 100 pounds.  It's daunting, yes.  But it is also completely within my control to do it.

And I WILL do it.